Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
He did a backflip because drugs
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
