yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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