i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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