she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
