So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
