Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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