YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
