I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize