i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
