He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
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