New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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