id be glad to
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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