I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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