did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
