I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
time to smoke my breakfast
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
