RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
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