She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
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