saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Randomize
