bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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