1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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