He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
