Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
