we have pet lesbian snakes
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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