How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
