What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
