marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
