So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Randomize
