Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
