do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Randomize
