so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
