Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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