No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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