I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Randomize
