Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Randomize
