There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
