hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
