Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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