I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
