She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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