It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Are we in a gay sports bar?
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
We had sex on a dog bed..
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