I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
