dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
