so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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