I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
