We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
