It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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