Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize