Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
