She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
No stitches, just platelets and will power
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
