Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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