I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
