Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
