So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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