I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
drinking out of a sandbucket again
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
