just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
