i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
