Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
