LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
you never un-have a 4some
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
