I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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