I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Randomize
