oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
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