Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
