i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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