The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Randomize
