I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
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