for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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