guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
