Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
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