But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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