I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
