Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
