I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
