it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
