Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
