What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Randomize
