Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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