Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize
