Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
