please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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