brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
only if we run a train.
done.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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