i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
