My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
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